Tuesday, April 12th 2016

As I woke this morning, the tears begin.  How can things become so familiar in such a short period of time?  Before my eyes opened I was searching for the sound of the roosters, the hum of the fan, feet padding on the tile floor, zippers being opened and closed.  All the sounds that signify the beginning of a new day.  As I opened my tearing eyes I realized the familiar smells were not here either.  As a matter of fact I could not smell anything.  No sweaty clothes, damp bathrooms, breakfast cooking or coffee brewing.  There were no familiar voices mixed with words I could and could not understand.  No people speaking in tones that to me ear sound somewhat angry, and then….laughter, community.

I walk down the steps to my living space. All the “stuff” of my home seems a bit ridiculous. My “just in case” bins and piles feel gluttonous.  I can make due with so much less!  I’ve watched people do life all week with 1/100th of what I have.  I don’t feel guilt, it just feels unnecessary.

I look at my calendar to see where I need to go and what I need to prepare for the week.  I think of the moms and dads we’ve looked in they eye and carried buckets for, held babies for.  They woke this morning with thoughts of a more critical nature.  “Will I have any food today?  How much water do I have left?  Why is my baby sick?  Will I have an opportunity to make any money?”  And then they must ask themselves the same question I ponder myself. “What is important? Why am I here? Does anyone really care?”

Then as I sit and look at God’s Word for me. I’m given the answer, for myself and those we’ve left behind.

FULLY KNOWN

I Corinthians 8:3            “But if anyone loves God, he is known by God.”

Only when we discover that he cries, mourns, laughs and celebrates with us will our hearts be founded on the reality of true relationship with him.

This is what’s important:  To love God.

This is why I’m here: To share His love, be His hands, be His feet.

To be loved is to be known.

I think I don’t really understand your love.  If I did, wouldn’t I live with reckless abandoned giving? With no care of what I think or want? Wouldn’t I live so others could experience and see your incredible goodness? Rather than working and thinking that I can’t experience happiness unless my desires are met. When I profess Romans 12:1 “present my body, a living sacrifice…”, I lay all my hopes,dreams, thoughts, action and desires before you.  Not just to die, that feels like loss.  But to  receive incomprehensible love, power and strength….so I can love and give like you’ve done for me.  Thirty seven years ago I thought I’d presented myself, a living sacrifice.  Now I see that what my mind believed it had done, my heart and body are still lagging behind.

I can’t possibly  know what the Spirit desires, live showing any fruit, obey or be any sort of witness unless I’ve got power beyond my own.  I’m extremely weak and selfish. But with Jesus Christ who lives in me by the Holy Spirit, I can succeed and not do what my flesh is pushing at all opportunities to do.

These were my thoughts when I started this challenge. I’ve been to the gym, because Claire lives in the house now :-), had 4 corn chips and found that my time with Jesus has been like eating honey.  Sweet, soothing, leaving me wanting more.  How has your month been?  Click on a title, scroll to the bottom and give us some insight.  You can follow on the bottom right…completely optional.

It would seem that God is shouting, and I’m supposed to learn, change, confess, hear something as I look at the Fruit of the Spirit.  Because my lesson with my Monday group is Romans 7.  Which is the very same message as Galatians 5.  Not under the law, Christ fulfilled the law, the struggle with the sinful nature and the Spirit residing in the same space….AND my group on Thursday night is doing the exact same text from Galatians 5 asking the question: “What is the role of the Holy Spirit in transforming us into the image o Christ?”  I’m listening!

So here are my thoughts for Day 1:

It helps to know that while I live here on earth, this will always be the struggle.  Good/Evil, God’s best/my flesh duking it out for my mind, my heart and my affections.  Not comforting, but a release from self hate or shame because the struggle will never be won until the day I reach the promised, holy place of perfection.  That is the hope I live with – not that someday I’ll get it right.  But that Jesus Christ my Lord has already made it right.  And because I recognize my sin and my heart desires to be made new, someday it will be.  And until that day he’s blessed me with the comforter, truth giver, counselor, Word,  and the the body of Christ.  Oh how he loves me.